I’d rather have a hole.

26 08 2008

(Sorry, I know it’s Tuesday, but this is NOT a Positive Post!)

You can call me “Stinky Pants” today.  It won’t hurt my feelings, and I won’t take it wrong.

The fact is, when I got into the office this morning, I noticed a strange odor.  I mistakenly assumed (and hoped) that it was coming from my cubicle neighbor.  No.  I have since determined that it was and is coming from my pants.

I am wearing black polyester pants.  Not new.  Not too old.  I grabbed them off of the laundry table, folded.  As far as I can see, they are clean.

As far as I can sniff, they are not!

What the heck?

This is not just a dirty laundry smell.  It’s like something died on my lap.  I am not kidding.

Every time I touch my leg or adjust my waistband, my hands become smelly, too!  Now I have to go wash them.  This is really driving me crazy.  I cannot wait until the end of the day, so I can get home and take these off. 

I bet my legs will smell yucky, too.

I also bet that walking to my vanpool stop will cause me to get a little sweaty.  If my pants get wet, the stinkiness may be enhanced.  Then I have to get on the van with like ten other commuters…  in my stinky pants.

Oh, this is going to be great.

During my first week at this office (8 years ago), I recall a day when I realized that I had a big hole in the crotch of my pants.  Hadn’t noticed it in the morning!  But it was there.  I emailed Stephanie to tell her and she laughed milk out of her nose, or something.  She made it funny.

Today feels kinda like that day.  Except stink is harder to hide than a hole.

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8 responses

26 08 2008
euphrony

An unfortunate circumstance indeed.

I remember in high school I was at a band concert. After the concert I was picking up instruments to put them away, wearing my nice suit. The bottom split out of my pants as I bent to pick up a drum. At least I was heading home right after that.

26 08 2008
AnnieBlogs

This is really hilarious.

26 08 2008
6justmyopinion

Wow..You are so brave to admit that to the whole world. You are probably home by now. Hope no one noticed.

Love you…barb

26 08 2008
melodymilbrandt

This was a hoot Annie.
Plus, I LOVE the title.
Too funny you!

27 08 2008
Rowan

I am SO sorry I did not see this until just now! You make me laugh. I thank Jesus, (as do your fellow commuters) that you are home now in comfy jammy pants and not stinky smelly pants. I must find that email…maybe I’m not going to bed. love you, stephanie

27 08 2008
thisiskristin

Polyester pants have such a weird smell to them! I think it gets worse the older they get!

27 08 2008
annie

Maybe they’ve seen their last wear…

2 09 2008
Grace

Did you ever figure out what the raunchy smell was? I have a theory. Ok, I admit it. I have a wild imagination and a problem with unsolved mysteries. Here goes: Ryan spilled something gross from the outside trashcan on himself and came into the laundry room, couldn’t find a dirty towel and so, (looking for witnesses both ways) he grabbed your pants to wipe up with. He quickly snuck out unnoticed by you and the grossness dried out before the stench computed Because you were in a hurry the day you wore them, it didn’t compute that you were wearing smelly clothes and hence, stinky jeans at work.

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