I’m the Baby!

14 06 2009

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When our son came along, our daughter Ryvre was already 8.5 years old.  She was excited to have a sibling and requested a brother.

She got her wish.

She was very helpful and protective of him.  Now, she enjoys teaching him things and playing with him.  (Sometimes.)

Malachi is only 3.5 years old, and his feelings about a new sibling are a little bit different.  He is excited about the baby and is also requesting a brother…

He even has a name picked out.

However~

He has expressed to us that he does not want to grow up, get big, or go to school.  He wants to stay the “baby.”  He told me this through real tears.

I wasn’t expecting this!

I’ve told him he’d always BE my baby ~ because we thought we were done having kids.  And he may have overheard me telling others how much I love him at this age.  We do everything together.  He’s done with Terrible Two Tantrums and can endure long walks through town.  He’s affectionate.  He’s a great helper.  And although he loves playing games together, he also knows how to entertain himself.

I am glad we have time to talk as a family about how things are going to change.  And Malachi will be well into pre-school by the time Baby comes along.  Still, I’d love some tips!

Any advice to help prepare my young one for the role of Big Brother?

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8 responses

14 06 2009
Emily

Unfortunately, I can’t give you any tips, but I have to say that I LOVE that picture of Malachi! Who got him to pose like that? It’s hilarious!

15 06 2009
annie

He did it all on his own… I think he learns these things from his sister! (And those are gold star stickers on his face.)

15 06 2009
melodymilbrandt

Sounds to me like you are doing a great job already Annie. Your sweet Malachi obviously knows he is very loved. I will be praying for him though, as he soon gets to become a big brother. God doesn’t just let any ol’ person be a big brother you know?! 😉 He must think Malachi is a super special boy to trust him with a new teeny baby like that. After all, it’s gonna be his baby, too. We always said “Your baby” – including the kids in it verbally, too. Before we knew it, they were saying it. “I’m helping get ready to welcome my new baby home. I’m picking out an outfit for my baby. I’m choosing my baby’s toy. I’m gonna show my baby how to do this…” We also made sure to have a special present for them on baby shower days or when we brought the baby home from the hospital. We always made a huge deal out of the whole becoming a big brother or big sister thing. Not like in pressure, but fun. We’d have a ballon or sign or shirt or button that said that and really be extra excited and proud. I don’t know if your little guy digs on the books much but, the Berenstain Bears has a couple we read ( “The Birds, the Bees, and the Berensatin Bears” and “The Berenstain Bears’ New Baby”) that were both appropriate and sweet. They also have a newer one called “The Berenstain Bears – And Baby Makes Five.” I have not read that one myself. The Little Critter books by Mercer Mayer have one my kids liked called, “The New Baby.” Cute and simple. There’s an “I’m a Big Brother” children’s book by Joanna Cole, but I have not read it myself. I’ve heard it is good though. A more detailed book with better illustrations and simple answers to questions a lot of kiddos start to wonder about is “What to Expect When the New Baby Comes Home (What to Expect Kids)” by Heidi Murkoff. She’s the gal who did the “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” books. Anyway, you don’t have to read it straight through. You can just do a page here or there or skip around depending on their interest or what they may be in the mood to know about that particular day. My daughter and neice really like that one, too. It was also a good conversation starter about the new baby stuff as they would just sometimes flip through it on their own, go off and think some, and then pop back with a question or thought later on. You may already have all of these, but just thought I’d mention them in case you didn’t.
No matter what, I know your little fella will be a great big brother and God is going to do really cool things.

15 06 2009
annie

Thank you so much, Melody! Books are a great idea, and I love how you gave your children “ownership” with the new baby. I truly appreciate your insight and will definitely use your ideas.

15 06 2009
Noel

Hey Annie, Malachi sounds like a great little boy and I’ll bet he’ll be a great big brother. It doesn’t sound like he’s too worried about that part though, it’s the growing up part that he doesn’t like. I was just thinking that talking up the great things he’ll get to do as he grows up would be important to him. Make sure he gets excited about school, that he’ll get to go just like Ryvre. That growing up means he can do bigger things like swimming or riding a bike or reading or rollercoasters at Disneyland (or whatever ) that he might be anxiously awaiting. Then of course, continue to treat him like your little boy, like I know you will. Cuddle him, read him stories, and love on him as long as you can, because eventually he’ll stop wanting that so much. Both Meah and Gareth have said similar things to me before and I just remind them that I’m always there for them to cuddle or sing songs at bedtime, and then of all the great things they get to do as they get bigger. Love you!

15 06 2009
annie

Thank you, Noel! More great ideas…

I am beginning to feel empowered.

Malachi IS a great little boy, and I have to admit that I would love to just keep him at age 3. Alas, we all know that’s not going to happen. So, we’ll work through it together and focus on the positive things!

(Funny ~ Ryvre can’t grow up fast enough! in her eyes…)

17 06 2009
Kristin

that is so cute!

17 06 2009
Great-Granny Grandma

Do you know if the new baby is a boy or girl? It would be cool if Malachi gets his wish for a baby brother. Meanwhile seems like Melody has given you lots of great tips. I’m sure everything will work out just fine.

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